John Wick (2014)

"Wick" .. "John Wick" .. I think that's the missing cliche left out of the huge pile of them that we have in this movie. A movie that's too long to lose more time checking its duration on IMDb. So let's finish this fast ...

It rains. John Wick, badly beaten, crawls near a wall. Flaaaaashback - well, we actually figure that's a flashback way later. What matters is that it rains. Again. John Wick is burying his wife. Rains harder. A dark mysteriously silhouette shows up under an umbrella. The suspense kills us. For 2 seconds. That's how much time we need to find out that the mysteriously guy has the same job as John Wick (contract killer, if you've seen the trailer should be quite clear), and what he wants is just to present his condolences. John Wick leaves for home. The postman rings. Puppy delivery. A remembrance gift from his former dying wife. Tears (yeah, I know, I have a horrible cold heart). Sleep. John Wick leaves to do some car rounds and to fill the tank. Bad karma. At exactly the same the gas station are three bad guys who want the car (they're Russians .. obviously). John Wick doesn't sell. Not good. The Russians really want the car. And they come for it. But they don't find the path directly to the garage. So they first pass through the living room and beat the hell out of John Wick. They also kill his dog. Big mistake: they don't kill John Wick (unbelievable how many bad guys do this mistake in this movie, it really would've shorten its length). Well, we find out that one of the Russians is the gang leader's son. We also find out that John Wick worked for that gang. And we also find out that John Wick gets very upset if you kill his dog and steal his car ...

We find a lot of other stuff throughout the movie. Like .. the bad Russians never attack simultaneously (except the start beating) in groups bigger than 2 (doesn't matter if they are 14 at one place). Like .. the professional assassins are called by phone to be executed and willingly show up. Like .. the final showdown must happen during a thunderstorm followed by heavy rain. We also find out that the IMDb are sometimes really hard to explain. I also found out that I was unfair with "The Equalizer" = John Wick could get some lessons from daddy Denzel. And we also find out that probably we shouldn't give much credit to a couple former stunt men directing their first movie, based on a script written by a B movies author (and not even many of those). Not much credit, and probably not much time either. So...

Rating: 2 out of 5 (barely)