Crimson Peak (2015)

The poster of this is totally inappropriate. Too much black, too much red ... Seriously, might make you think this is a horror. "Surprisingly" IMDb tells us the same. Fortunately it adds besides "drama + fantasy". Up to half of the movie you might be in doubt. Hmmm, looks like trying for a horror ... there's some drama too ... (don't know what the IMDb editor drank to put fantasy on the list, but well ..). Slowly though, the confusion fades away. The "scary" scenes are one, repeated in various chromatic (actually .. red and black, wait .. I start to get why the poster is using these). More important though, you start noticing that the lack of logic in the script and the over-theatrical acting is not an attempt for a gothic-victorian "hippie" feel of "let's forget the real and dream a bit" ... Nope, it's not intended. Because if it was there should've been an extra genre in the IMDb list: comedy.

So, what do we have here: a blonde girl attempting some literary career, daughter of an industry magnate. Bored by her life she's falling for an English baronet (without fortune) after he's complimenting her last novel manuscript in the 2nd second (measured on the clock) after looking through her wonderful writing. Love story. Daddy doesn't agree. The guy + his sister (especially his sister) seem suspicious. For everybody minus the blonde. Broken heart. The same for the father's head in an unfortunate "accident". Mourning. Marriage. Emigrating to England with the baronet. Haunted mansion (with a big hole in the roof). We find out "the mystery". Actually we already did a while ago, if we have more the one neuron. The blonde finds out too. Well, there are some nuances = some ghosts in the mansion, the evil sister has some background in mental institutions, details on previous victims, and others. The final purpose is anyway the same: the blonde's money. But wait ... the romance ... oh, the romance ... It clouds so much the vision of the baronet that unbelievable .. he wants to save the blonde. So much that he stabs non-lethally on purpose the American doctor (a blond guy) who traveled across the ocean and through a British storm to save the girl. But not before telling him what's the path to run away with the blonde. Let's cut a bit the spoilers and jump to the end. A showdown a la "Shining" in the bloody snow (well ... not too bloody, the paint ran out until the end): "the innocent blonde" vs "the evil brunette" (this film is a good candidate for gender balance of killers in movies). Round 1: weapons - knife vs cleaver. Round 2: weapons - friendly ghost vs cleaver (if the knife didn't cut it ... no pun intended). Fatality move: the shovel. And the winner is ... You won't expect me to tell you everything won't you?.

Conclusion: As the poster says, or the first ghost (a sort of other worldly Nostradamus, warning the blonde since her childhood) - beware .. beware .. of "Crimson Peak".

Rating: 1 out of 5

Trailer: I said everything ... I'm not spending more time to look for it, really, it's dangerous ... you might be tempted to see this

Disclaimer: nothing personal against blondes, but I can't help it when the movie uses more or less intended/nuanced the typical stupid stereotypes